A Non-Traditional Approach to Cope With Procrastination and Perfectionism as a Writer

How many times have you tried to “fix” your problem with procrastination and perfectionism by employing mainstream methods – quick fix hacks – that fail to address the reasons behind your deep resistance to and fear of writing?

Having tried and failed at using traditional methods to crush, beat, and punch procrastination and perfectionism in the face, I decided to try a non-traditional method that focuses more on healing rather than “fixing” my problems. So I registered for a video course called YOU Are a Writer: Getting Past the Fear and Finally Moving Forward created by writer and writing coach Lauren Sapala.

Right off the bat, if you are someone who experiences occasional bouts of procrastination and perfectionism and is able to “bounce back” relatively quickly through willpower with no serious and enduring impact on your self-worth, then this course is not for you.

YOU Are a Writer is a course targeted towards writers suffering from debilitating forms of procrastination and perfectionism. Sapala calls these conditions Toxic Procrastination and Crippling Perfectionism.

YOU Are a Writer: Getting Past the Fear and Finally Moving Forward video course

“YOU Are a Writer is a pre-recorded video course for writers who are struggling with severe procrastination and perfectionism issues. It is designed for writers who identify as intuitive, empathic, Highly Sensitive, and creative. It is a “right-brained” approach to dealing with severe levels of procrastination and perfectionism that draws on feminine energy, intuition, and the emotional side of life.”

Lauren Sapala

The above blurb is a brief explanation of the course, its approach, and who it’s designed for; however, there’s more information on Sapala’s website, including a 3-video mini-series that will give you a good sense of whether this course may be for you. She is excellent at explaining the course,  her concepts, and her approach. 

I did a lot of research before purchasing the course ($149 USD). I read her blog posts and watched her videos on her YouTube channel.  As I read and watched her content, it was as though she was reading my mind and speaking my feelings – it was uncanny and I laughed out loud at how spot-on she was in articulating what I was going through. That’s how I knew that I had to give her course a try.

Also, I noticed that a lot of Sapala’s work centers around helping writers who identify as INFJ or INFP. But, regardless of what personality type you are, I think that if you are a writer struggling with chronic forms of procrastination and perfectionism to where you don’t write at all or feel dread and anxiety even thinking about sitting down to write, then this course is an option you can explore. I’m not exactly sure what personality type I am but that didn’t impact my experience with the course.

What Makes this Course Different from Mainstream Methods of Coping with Procrastination and Perfectionism?

Unlike mainstream “left-brained” methods that offer surface-level quick-results solutions to “overcome” procrastination and perfectionism, Sapala’s course addresses and unpacks the deep-seated emotional issues at the root of our resistance to writing. Hers is a “right-brained” approach that’s centered on facets such as emotions, relationships, and body awareness to cope with our problems. 

This course starts you on a journey of healing; it does not discuss strategies to write faster or how to be a more productive writer, which is the type of advice we’re used to seeing in our culture.

Instead, this course explores narcissistic family dynamics, how we were raised, and resultant feelings of shame, so the material could be triggering to some people. I cried several times throughout the course. 

Key Takeaways and Aha Moments

• Writers with toxic procrastination have a debilitating fear of self-expression. Through past experience, we learned to internalize the belief that expressing ourselves is wrong.

• People with toxic procrastination and crippling perfectionism carry the false belief that to be lovable and worthy, we need to do, be, or have certain things. We seek external approval to reassure ourselves that we are valuable human beings.

• Associating our identity and worthiness too closely with writing can lead to debilitating perfectionism. We fear that a less-than-perfect piece of writing is a direct reflection of our worth.

• When we perceive our writing as an extension of ourselves, we are playing the part of the narcissistic parent who expects our child (writing) to validate our worth. There needs to be an understanding of boundaries and to consciously disconnect our selfhood from our writing. 

• Let go of conceptions of writing “the right way.” The writing process is a co-creative relationship where your creative work is your child and you are the parent who loves and accepts it however it shows up.

Were there any parts in the course that didn’t resonate with me?

Sapala explains that crippling perfectionism is often due to a writer having been raised by a narcissistic parent or in some kind of family environment with a narcissistic dynamic. The narcissistic parent part didn’t resonate that strongly with me. However, I still gained insight from the lessons when she went on to connect the way we were raised with our tendency to be codependent and to have weak boundaries as adults.

Was the YOU Are a Writer course worth it?

Absolutely. In The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace D. Wattles advises to give more value than the cost of the product. This definitely applies with Lauren Sapala’s course. Her work has influenced me in meaningful ways – not only as a writer, but also as a person –  so don’t be surprised if I mention her in my future writing.

I am now in the process of healing my procrastination and perfectionism. Since healing is an ongoing process, I return to the course material (comprised of written and video lessons) whenever I feel the need for Sapala’s guidance.

It’s been about a week since I completed the course. I have been writing regularly – not because I pushed and forced myself to write, but because I wanted to. That is big for me. It’s not very often that I actually look forward to writing. And writing doesn’t mean starting and completing a writing project in one day. I’ve been writing in my journal, my “ideas” notebook, or in Google Docs on potential blog posts.

I’m learning to pay attention to how I’m feeling before, during, and after my writing sessions. I believe there was one day I didn’t write at all because my body and mind needed to recover from having completed an article. 

I want to stress here that you don’t have to write every day despite the mainstream writing advice that’s all over the internet. Part of the blocks we experience as writers is getting our minds muddied with everyone else’s ideas of what it means to be “a real writer.” 

In the past, when I pushed myself to write because my inner critic was saying that I had to produce something, the pressure just strengthened my anxiety and dread. But lately, when I do feel anxious, I don’t push myself, and instead of chastising myself, I’m choosing to be accepting and loving. If I get anxious while writing, I step away. If I feel anxious before a writing session, I don’t sit at my desk to write. 

Closing with Gratitude

I’ve been crying a lot lately. Lauren Sapala says that crying means your heart is opening up, and I believe that is what’s happening. My heart feels grateful. I am grateful to Sapala for what she is putting out into the world to help writers get past their fears. 

I believe it was in one of her videos where she explained why she created the YOU Are a Writer course. She developed this course after numerous interactions with clients and students who felt broken and ashamed when they tried and failed to “fix” their procrastination and perfectionism issues through traditional methods.

Sapala, to me, is an example of a teacher who meets her students where they are rather than expecting them to adhere to mainstream methods that aren’t suited to who they are as individuals. She understands that there isn’t one way or a “right way” to exist in this world. Now that is the kind of teacher I want in my corner.