If You Feel Like a Bad Person – Compassionate Advice from GaryVee
Compassion: sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.
On a recent episode of Tea with GaryVee on YouTube, Gary Vaynerchuk talked to a young man, Alexis Cisnero, who self-described as a negative person.
Alexis lives life expecting the worst – he assumes that if anything good ever happens, something inevitably is going to go wrong. He grew up a “black sheep,” was told he was bad from his family, and got in trouble for delinquent behaviour.
He has few close friendships and isolates himself by cutting people out of his life. His low self-esteem being as it is, he also fears that he will let other people down.
He compares himself to other people he considers “good” or “better” than him, then judges himself as deficient and lacking, or he tries to pull “positive” people down to his level.
It was clear from the way Alexis spoke about himself that he didn’t think he was good enough. He believed what his family and past circumstances had conditioned him into believing about himself: He thought he was a bad person.
In response, Gary dropped this compassionate piece of wisdom and truth:
You’re not bad, you’re hurt.
These words stopped me in my tracks. I think it woke up a lot of people in the audience, including Alexis, of course.
Gary later goes on to say:
You’re good, with an injury.
How many of us can relate to what Alexis is going though?
How many of us judge ourselves as “bad”?
How many of us judge others as “bad”?
How many of us experience fear, shame, guilt, and self-doubt?
Do we not all suffer?
You’re not bad, you’re hurt.
May these words turn us toward compassion – for ourselves and each other.
You’re not bad, you’re hurt.
The next time we want to condemn ourselves for being “bad,” may we remember to soften our hearts and see that we are hurting.
You’re not bad, you’re hurt.
The next time we want to condemn others for being “bad,” may we remember to soften our hearts and see that they are hurting.
