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Drunk with Love
Friday nights for most teenagers represents the beginning of an event called The Weekend. I’m not most teenagers. I choose my companions carefully. Depending on my mood, I either watch a sitcom or read Anne Tyler novels. “Oh, Grace, you’re so boring!” my best friend Farrah says, stretching the “boring” part. “Then why do you hang out with me?” I ask. “Because. You’re funny,” she says. “Oh, so I’m boring but funny at the same time?” “Uh huh.” “You’re not making any sense,” I say. Farrah tries to stifle a giggle. Her hazel eyes sparkle and crinkle at the corners. Her cheeks look like rosy dough. Gosh, I love her.…
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Close to You
I know you. I sit at the back of the class, my chin perched on my fists and drink in your every move. I memorize your profile. Etched in my mind is your Roman nose and your wispy eyelashes blinking against the sunlight. I marvel at the even distribution of golden hair on your perfectly proportioned legs and how your shoulder blades and spine stretch your white Vuarnet T-shirt. I envy the lock of wavy hair that cradles your left ear, knowing its smoothness. Are you nervous? You have a habit of tapping your feet and chewing on a blue PaperMate pen. I wish I were that pen. How could…
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Who Are You? (The Dreaded Question)
“Who are you?” is possibly one of the most dreaded questions you can be asked. And yet we’re expected to answer variations of this question everyday. With the way social media pervades a significant portion of our lives, there’s no escape from being confronted with this question, in one form or another. For each platform you join, you’re required to fill out a bio, profile, an about page, etc. that succinctly and charmingly conveys a glimpse into who you are. Drives me crazy. Who am I? There is no definitive answer. As frustrating as it may be. Whenever I’m confronted with the “Who are you?” question, my inner voice replies…
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Having Fun with Cliche Writing
cli·ché noun a phrase or opinion that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought. Sure, using clichés is considered “lazy” and uncreative, but there’s no reason why we can’t have fun with them. I took my first writing class when I was 22 years old, and one of our assignments was to write a story packed with as many clichés as possible. It was a fun exercise. Here’s that story I wrote – 27 years ago. Like a dream, he came into my life from out of nowhere and swept me off my feet. Winning my heart was a piece of cake for him, for I was eager…
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My Love
In the morning your eyes pink from sleep gaze at me. Your long curly eyelashes surround a mystery – hazel windows to your soul. There is substance there, in your eyes – a depth I want to explore. You lean over for a kiss I’m hesitant to give. Morning breath, I explain. You don’t care. Your thin lips feel surprisingly full and soft on my mouth. They turn down at the corners – forever locked in sadness. On the night table stands a photograph of you as a boy. “This is the boy who will grow up to be the man I love,” I think. Your eyes so bright and…
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My Love/Hate Relationship with Writing
Writing is hard. If you write, maybe you have a love-hate relationship with writing too. As difficult as writing is for me, it has been a big part of my life. I started writing in journals and writing short stories and bad poetry at a young age. I did it for myself – because I felt compelled to. Writing was my refuge of sorts, a way to express my personal thoughts and feelings. A way to be creative. But my relationship with writing changed significantly when I attended university. The stress and anxiety of writing academic papers and foolishly pinning my self-worth on earning high grades worsened my perfectionist tendencies. …
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Feeling Alone During the Pandemic
Another day. Another day that looks the same as the ones preceding it. I can hardly tell the days apart anymore. Does it really matter? I spend most days alone. Loneliness in a pandemic feels different somehow. I can’t quite articulate why, but there’s an invisible weight present. Is it that there’s another layer of uncertainty in the air? The longing for connection seems more impassable and out of reach. The physical barriers between us, the newly learned way of keeping our distance from each other, add to the feeling of disconnect and isolation. But it’s crucial for my mental and emotional health to leave the confines of my home.…
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Quotes and Lessons from The Four Agreements
Being the self-help book nut that I am, I had to read Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements. This book is often mentioned in Best-of lists. When I saw it at the bookstore, I was surprised how compact the book is. At 138 pages, it could be read in one sitting. Despite its compactness, there are a lot of nuggets of wisdom and level-headed advice on how to make changes within ourselves, resulting in personal freedom, happiness, and love. The four agreements are like personal codes of conduct. Be Impeccable with Your Word Don’t Take Anything Personally Don’t Make Assumptions Always Do Your Best They seem straightforward enough in theory,…
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If You Feel Like a Bad Person – Compassionate Advice from GaryVee
Compassion: sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others. On a recent episode of Tea with GaryVee on YouTube, Gary Vaynerchuk talked to a young man, Alexis Cisnero, who self-described as a negative person. Alexis lives life expecting the worst – he assumes that if anything good ever happens, something inevitably is going to go wrong. He grew up a “black sheep,” was told he was bad from his family, and got in trouble for delinquent behaviour. He has few close friendships and isolates himself by cutting people out of his life. His low self-esteem being as it is, he also fears that he will let other…
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Why I Take Cold Showers: My Self-Love Journey
Personal growth rarely happens inside a cozy cocoon. My default mode is to resist stepping out of my comfort zone. If I could grow into my potential by staying in my comfort zone, I would. But life doesn’t work that way. I’m far from living up to my potential, and I know a big part of it is because I’ve lived a “safe” life by remaining in my comfort zone most of the time. I chose to listen to my fear – the voice in my head that convinced me of my inadequacy and inability to do things that scared me and made me uncomfortable. I chose to believe that…